Amusement Parks of the Uncanny Highway

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, Highway, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Weird America

The Amusement Parks of the Uncanny Highway promise thrills and enjoyment – but often deliver horror and pain. But where else can you and your demon lover go to get a chili dog, and ride the Ferris Wheel?

These tables generate the kind of non-corporate, family-owned Amusement Parks that were once ubiquitous in the United States. They can also be used to generate the attractions at traveling Carnivals, County Fairs, and seaside Amusement Piers.

Table 1. Highway Sign

d6	The first sign for the Amusement Park appear…
1	20 miles away.
2	15 miles away.
3	10 miles away.
4	5 miles away.
5	1 mile away.
6	only when the place is upon you.

See Billboards of the Uncanny Highway to generate the billboard sign for the Amusement Park.

Table 2. Amusement Park Theme

d20	The overall theme of the place appears to be…
1 – 6	nothing in particular.
7	an Old-Time Circus. There will be Clowns wandering about at all times.
8	Western (Cowboys and “Indians”).
9	Storybook / Fairy-tale.
10	Medieval.
11	Arabian-Nights fantasy.
12	Chinese, Japanese, or undifferentiated “Oriental”.
13	Pirates.
14	Nautical (other than Pirates).
15	Jungle.
16	Rustic. Buildings will be log cabins, etc.
17	Biblical.
18	Classic Monsters. (Dracula, the Wolfman, the Mummy, etc.) A park with this theme will always have a Haunted House attraction.
19	Colonial America.
20	Outer Space.

The overall theme will be reflected on the sign, in the architecture of structures, in the design of the rides, and the outfits of the employees.

Table 3. Amusement Park Size

d6	In overall size the park is…
1	parking-lot sized (less than 1 acre). 2d4 Attractions. 25% chance of a Gift Shop. Typical for a church carnival or small town fair.
2	very small (1d6 acres). 1 + 2d6 Attractions. 50% chance of a Gift Shop. Typical for a seaside Amusement Pier.
3	small (4d6 acres). 5 + 1d12 Attractions. 75% chance of a Gift Shop.
4	moderate (10 + 2d20 acres). 10 + 1d12 Attractions. 1 Gift Shop. Typical for a minor County Fair.
5	large (40 + 3d20 acres). 20 + 1d12 Attractions. 1 or 2 Gift Shop(s). Typical for a well-known County Fair, or a small State Fair.
6	very large (100 + 2d100 acres). 30 + 1d12 Attractions. 1d4 Gift Shops. Typical for a large State Fair.

Table 4. Amusement Park Enclosure

d6	The park is enclosed by…
1	no barrier at all…
2	a clean chain-link fence. (25% chance to be topped with barbed wire.)
3	a dirty and corroded chain-link fence… (25% chance to be topped with barbed wire.)
4	a well-maintained picket fence…
5	a broken and poorly-maintained picket fence…
6	an old-fashioned iron fence… (75% chance to be topped with spikes.)

d4	…and when you enter you pay…
1	no fee, but must buy tickets to go on the rides.
2	a small fee, and must also buy tickets for the rides,
3	a high fee, and must also buy relatively cheap tickets for the rides.
4	a single fee, which includes every ride.

Table 5. Park Condition

d4	The overall condition of the park is…
1	Good, and the attractions seem well maintained.
2	Poor, and the attractions look decrepit.
3	Dirty, but the attractions seem safe enough.
4	Clean, but the attractions look like they were built cheaply.

Table 6. The Staff

d12	A notable characteristic of the staff is..
1 – 2	they are all teenagers.
3	they are all wearing costumes.
4	they are all men.
5	they are all women.
6	they all seem elderly.
7	they are all a single ethnicity.
8	they are all hostile and unfriendly.
9	they are unnervingly cheerful.
10	they all speak in an emotionless, monotone voice.
11	they seem to watch you everywhere you go.
12	they seem to take obvious delight when attendees get hurt.

Table 7a. Attractions

d100	The Attractions include…
1 – 3	a Ferris wheel.
4 – 6	a roller-coaster.
7 – 9	a carousel. Roll on Table 7b, Carousel Mounts.
10 – 12	bumper cars.
13 – 15	a miniature golf course.
16 – 18	a petting zoo. 5% chance one of the animals is rabid.
19 – 20	a small zoo of 2d4 animals.
21 – 23	a Freak Show. Roll on Tale 7c, Freak Show Features.
24 – 26	a haunted house. Roll on Table 7d, Haunted House Features.
27 – 29	a Funhouse or (“Walkthrough”) Roll on Table 7e, Funhouse / Walkthrough) Features.
30 – 32	a Devil’s Wheel ride.
33 – 35	flying scooters.
36 – 38	a slide.
39 – 40	a Hurricane ride.
41 – 43	a log flume. Roll again if Park is not permanent.
44 – 46	a “tunnel of love” or “old mill” ride. Roll on Table 7f, Tunnel of Love / Old Mill Ride Features.
47 – 49	haunted train ride. Moderate or larger parks only.
50 – 52	narrow-gauge train. Moderate or larger parks only.
53 – 55	a swinging pirate ship ride.
56 – 58	a Rock-o-plane ride.
59 – 60	a Tilt-a-Whirl / waltzer ride.
61 – 63	a swimming pool. On the back of a truck if Park is not permanent.
64 – 66	a water slide.
67 – 69	a spray pool.
70 – 72	a wave pool. Roll again if Park is not permanent, or located on a pier.
73 – 75	an artificial river with a slow current. Roll again if Park is not permanent, or located on a pier.
76 – 78	a wooded picnic area. Roll again if Park is not permanent, or located on a pier.
79 – 80	a drive-through safari. Large or Very Large parks only.
81 – 83	a roller-rink.
84 – 86	a faux village or town.
87 – 88	a booth with an artist that does fast caricatures.
89 – 90	vending machines.
91 – 95	“midway” games and attractions. Roll on Table 7g, Midway Games and Attractions.
96 – 100	an arcade. Roll on table 7h, Arcade Games and Attractions.

A repeated result indicates multiple example of an attraction, or that the feature is especially large. An Amusement Park might be nothing but roller-coasters, for example.

Table 7b. Carousel Mounts

d100, 8+d20 times.	The mounts include a…
1 – 10	white horse.
11 – 20	black horse.
21 – 30	brown horse.
31 – 40	chariot car.
41 – 46	unicorn.
45 – 50	dragon.
51 – 52	stag.
53 – 54	pegasus.
55 – 56	eagle.
57 – 58	hound.
59 – 60	bull.
61 – 62	buffalo.
63 – 64	pig.
65 – 66	camel
67 – 68	dolphin.
69 – 70	seal.
71 – 72	shark.
73 – 74	sea-horse.
75 – 76	giraffe.
77 – 78	rabbit.
79 – 80	zebra.
81 – 82	ostrich.
83 – 84	fish.
85 – 86	wolf.
87 – 88	ape.
89 – 90	rooster.
91 – 92	lion.
93 – 94	tiger.
95 – 96	leopard.
97 – 98	goat.
99 – 100	griffon.

1 in 8 chance for a rider to have opportunity to grab the Brass Ring. Grabbing the ring requires a Dexterity Check, made with a -2 Penalty.

Roll on Table 8 to determine prize for catching the Brass Ring.

Table 7c. Freak Show Features

d100, 1d8 times	You’ll be shocked and amazed by…
1 – 3	“The Lobster Boy/Girl”.
4 – 6	“The Toad Man/Woman”.
7 – 9	“The Siamese Twins”.
10 – 12	“The Bearded Lady”.
13 – 15	“The Snake-Man/Woman”.
16 – 18	“The Two-headed Man/Woman”.
19 – 21	“The Human Skeleton”.
22 – 24	“The Dog-faced Boy/Girl”.
25 – 27	“The Alligator Man/Woman”.
28 – 30	“The Strong-Man/Strong-Woman”.
31 – 33	“The India Rubber Man/Woman”. (Contortionist)
34 – 36	“The Pin-Head”.
37 – 39	“The Dwarf Man/Woman”.
40 – 42	“The Giant Man/Woman”.
43 – 45	“The Three-Legged Man/Woman”.
46 – 48	“The Tattooed Man /Woman”. (Person with full-body tattoos – extremely rare in the 1960s and 70s, and practically unknown for women.)
49 – 51	“The Human Pincushion”. (Person with body piercings, who also puts needles, skewers and blades through their skin and tongue.)
55 – 57	“The Sword Swallower”.
58 – 60	“The Legless Acrobat”.
61 – 63	“The Armless Artist”.
64 – 66	“The Fire Swallower”.
67 – 69	“The Incredible Regurgitator”.
70 – 72	“The Stone Swallower”.
73 – 75	“The Wild Man from Borneo”.
76 – 78	“The Geek”. (Person who bites the heads off of chickens, and other small animals.)
79 – 84	a collection of deformed human fetuses in jars.
85 – 87	a collection of deformed animal fetuses in jars.
88 – 90	pictures of historical “freaks”.
91 – 93	a collection of objects made of human skin, hair, and bones.
94 – 96	a stuffed, two-headed animal.
97 – 100	an actual Egyptian Mummy.

Table 7d. Haunted House Features

d100, 3d6 times	You’ll be delightfully terrified by the…
1 – 5	spooky music.
6 – 10	screams and moans.
11 – 12	actors in monster masks.
13 – 14	cobwebs.
15 – 16	skeletons.
17 – 18	spider webs.
19 – 20	growling sounds.
21 – 22	giggling sounds.
23 – 24	animatronic figures.
25 – 26	coffins.
27 – 28	glowing eyes.
29 – 30	black-lit area(s).
31 – 32	area(s) lite with colored lights.
33 – 34	area(s) lit with strobe lights.
35 – 36	rubber bats.
37 – 38	rubber rats.
39 – 40	giant paper mache spiders
41 – 42	stuffed black cat(s).
43 – 44	stuffed crow(s).
45 – 46	spooky painting(s)
47 – 48	gauze ghost(s)
49 – 50	air blast(s).
51 – 52	spinning tunnel.
53 – 54	floor(s) shrouded in fog or mist.
55 – 56	grabbing hands.
57 – 58	rubber bugs.
59 – 60	pitch-black room.
61 – 62	maze.
63 – 64	vampire’s lair.
65 – 66	werewolf’s den.
67 – 68	ghoul’s lair.
69 – 70	mummy’s tomb.
71 – 73	gill-man tank.
74 – 75	Mad Scientist’s laboratory.
76 – 77	witch’s room.
78 – 79	Black Mass room.
80 – 81	bug-eyed space aliens.
82 – 83	medieval torture chamber.
84 – 85	electric chair.
86 – 87	gallows.
88 – 89	“voodoo” room.
90 – 91	rusty knives.
92 – 93	suit(s) of armor.
94 – 95	gargoyle(s).
96 – 97	“Pepper’s Ghost” illusion.
98 – 99	trapdoor.
100	electric shocks.

Repeated results means the feature occurs in more than one place.

Note: evil clowns weren’t really a “thing” in the 60s and 70s, before the arrest of John Wayne Gacy in 1978.

Table 7e. Funhouse / Walkthrough Features

d20. 2d6 times	You’ll be surprised and astounded by the…
1	spinning barrel.
2	slide.
3	spinning wheel room.
4	air jets.
5	distorting mirrors.
6	ball pit.
7	trapdoor.
8	mirror maze.
9	completely dark corridor.
10	undulating floors.
11	rocking floor.
12	maze of doors.
13	crooked room,
14	blacked out corridor.
15	optical illusion walls.
16	strobe lights.
17	sudden trumpet blasts.
18	animatronic figures.
19	taunting clowns.
20	trick staircases.

Repeated results means the feature occurs in more than one place.

Table 7f. Tunnel of Love / Old Mill Ride Features

d6	Strapped into the….
1	chair on a track…
2	heart-shaped chair on a track…
3	rocket-ship shaped car…
4	small boat….
5	small boast shaped like a swan…
6	small boat shaped like a fish…

d100, 2d6 times	…you move through the dark tunnel and see …
1 – 3	a section lit with many small lights.
4 – 6	a partially lit section with leering faces painted on the wall.
7 – 9	a lit section where the walls are painted in an optical illusion.
10 – 12	a scene of fairies in a forest.
13 – 15	the Three Little Pigs.
16 – 18	mermaids.
19 – 21	a scene of Romeo and Juliet
22 – 24	a scene of familiar cartoon characters.
25 – 27	an undersea grotto.
28 – 30	a storybook castle.
31 – 33	a dragon.
34 – 36	a forest of giant toadstools.
37 – 39	a shootout in the Old West.
40 – 42	a Polynesian village scene.
43 – 45	a Chinese pagoda in a landscape.
46 – 48	a scene of stereotypical “Indians” (Native Americans) in tee-pees.
49 – 51	a scene of colonial America.
55 – 57	skeletons.
58 – 60	a vampire’s lair.
61 – 63	a gallows.
64 – 66	a scene of Hell and Satan.
67 – 69	a giant ape.
70 – 72	a scene of witches around a cauldron.
73 – 75	werewolves.
76 – 78	pirates.
79 – 84	a graveyard.
85 – 87	an ancient Egyptian tomb.
88 – 90	a torture chamber.
91 – 93	a scene of witches being burnt.
94 – 96	a scene of cannibals in the jungle.
97 – 100	a haunted Victorian mansion.

Repeated results means the feature or scene occurs in more than one place along the ride.

Table 7g. Midway Games and Attractions

d20, 2d6 times	Enjoy yourself at the completely fair, honest, and definitely not fixed…
1	Strength Tester (Mallet and Bell) .
2	Dunk Tank.
3	Wheel of Fortune.
4	Pin-Pong Ball and Fishbowl game(Prize is the goldfish in the bowl).
5	Ball and Basket game.
6	Milk Bottle Game.
7	Dime Pitch.
8	Electric Shooting Gallery.
9	Watergun Shooting Gallery.
10	Bottle Stand game.
11	Dartboard game.
12	Raffle.
13	Bingo game.
14	Horseshoe pitch.
15	Pachinko game.
16	Ring Toss.
17	Weight Guesser.
18	Cover the Spot game.
19	Duck Pond game.
20	Kissing Booth. Not a game. You pay, someone kisses you. You won’t get any prizes here – except maybe a case of mononucleosis!

For each Midway game, roll a d8 to determine the “Fix” (Penalty to Strength or Dexterity Checks to beat the games).

Repeated results means there is more than one example of the same game or attraction.

Roll on Table 8 to determine the prize for a winner.

Table 7h. Arcade Games and Attractions

d20, 3d6 times	Amuse yourself with the…
1	sports-themed pinball machine.
2	monster-themed pinball machine.
3	fantasy-themed pinball machine.
4	superhero-themed pinball machine.
5	space-themed pinball machine.
6	western-themed pinball machine.
7	Jukebox.
8	electro-mechanical racing game.
9	electro-mechanical sports game.
10	electro-mechanical shooting game.
11	electro-mechanical combat game.
12	Fascination table.
13	slot machine.
14	foosball table.
15	skee-ball.
16	love tester.
17	fortune teller machine. 10% chance machine is an actual oracle.
18	old-fashioned mutoscope. 50% chance motion picture is of a scantily clad woman from 1930 or before.
19	photo booth.
20	air hockey table. Roll again if before 1969.

Repeated results means there is more than one example of the same game or attraction.

Table 8. Game and Carousel Prizes

d20	Congratulations, you’ve won a(n)…
1	ashtray
2	rubber duckie
3	set of wind-up chattering teeth
4	plate.
5	candy dish.
6	hula-hoop.
7	baseball cap.
8	stuffed teddy bear.
9	stuffed unicorn.
10	band t-shirt (90% likely to be unlicensed.)
11	baseball hat.
12	football.
13	wall plaque.
14	black velvet poster.
15	rock band poster (90% likely to be unlicensed.)
16	baseball.
17	free ticket for one on the rides /attractions, or free admission to the park.
18	ticket for free food at the Concession Stand.
19	keychain
20	piece of cheap jewelry.

Table 9. Bathrooms

d8	The Bathrooms are…
1	nowhere to be found.
2	50 cents to use!
3	oddly well-maintained.
4	just portable booths.
5	basic, but serviceable.
6	covered in graffiti
7	disgustingly filthy.
8	used for drug dealing.

Table 10. Concession Stand Food

d20, 1d12 times	The food served at the Concession Stand includes…
1 – 2	hamburgers.
3	hot dogs.
4	corn dogs.
5	fried chicken.
6	steak on a stick. Or at least, something like steak!
7	fried fish.
8	barbeque sandwiches.
9	soft pretzels.
10	funnel cakes.
11	corn bread.
12	french fries.
13	turkey legs.
14	chili and/or tacos.
15	pizza.
16	ice cream cones.
17	ice cream sundaes.
18	moon pies.
19	cookies.
20	pie slices.

d6	…and its overall quality is best described as…
1	vile.
2	edible if washed down with a drink.
3 – 4	mediocre.
5	acceptable for what it is.
6	surprisingly tasty.

Table 11. Gift Shop Merchandise

d20. 2d6 times	The Gift Shop sells…
1	post cards.
2	t-shirts.
3	key-chains.
4	wallets.
5	jewelry.
6	souvenir spoons.
7	stamped pennies.
8	stuffed animals.
9	wall plaques.
10	tea-pots.
11	beach towels.
12	iron-on patches.
13	candles.
14	paperweights.
15	snow-globes.
16	masks.
17	rubber weapons and/or cap guns.
18	Christmas ornaments.
19	novelty hats. (tricorns, knight’s helmets, faux Native American warbonnets, etc.)
20	ashtrays.

Table 12. Amusement Park Events

d20	Right now…
1	a state inspector is trying to insert an awl into the welds of a ride – to see if they are actually spray-painted bubble-gum.
2	an attraction collapses, or catches on fire (1d6-1 people will be hurt, 1d4-1 people will be killed.)
3	a group is attempting to ride or enter illegally. (Without purchasing a ticket, wearing neither shirts nor shoes, etc.)
4	a child is lost.
5	a child is having their birthday party.
6	a ride has broken down.
7	someone has gotten injured on a ride.
8	a couple is having a fight.
9	someone is loudly looking for the manager.
10	a musical concert has started.
11	several patrons are experiencing food poisoning.
12	a clown is wandering about, unintentionally scaring children.
13	someone has set off firecrackers.
14	someone has set off a stink bomb.
15	a murdered body has been discovered.
16	a naked “streaker” is running by.
17	helicopters are overhead, apparently looking for somebody (or something).
18	a dog (or other animal) runs by.
19	a bird has defecated on a patron, who starts cursing loudly.
20	a ride or attraction is being repaired or maintained.

Determine a new event around every ride or attractions the PCs visit.

Table 13. Amusement Park Secrets

d20	The dark secret of this Amusement Park is…
1	the owner is actually a Mad Scientist.
2	the owner is actually a Magician.
3	the owner is actually an extraterrestrial, and alien technology is used on the rides.
4	the employees are all actually androids.
5	the monsters in the Haunted House (or “Tunnel of Love”) are real.
6	the Haunted House (or “Tunnel of Love”) contains actual portals to other times and places.
7	a phantom rider is often seen on one of the rides.
8	it is often patronized by supernatural creatures, or extraterrestrials.
9	it is the hunting ground of a child abduction ring.
10	it exists to trap and collect souls for the Devil.
11	it is one big C.I.A. (or K.G.B.) mind control experiment.
12	it is used by locals as a place for illicit trysts.
13	the staff selects one patron to murder every month. Their death always looks like an accident.
14	after hours the staff engages in orgies.
15	it is built atop an old cemetery or “Indian” burial ground.
16	there is an extensive network of tunnels underneath, inhabited by ghouls.
17	it is the prison for an ancient power of Evil.
18	it is actually run by the Fairy Folk.
19	it is actually the cover for a smuggling ring.
20	It is owned by an organized crime syndicate, and sometimes used to dispose of dead bodies. Don’t eat the barbeque!

The Engine of Oracles

~ Daniel James Hanley's Creations For Gaming. Home of the Ghastly Affair RPG.